So...

IT sucks. Life sucks. As much as I'm excited for school to start and for band camp to be done and the fun to start, I can't wrap my head around the fact that I miss you. I see you all the time and I just want to waltz right up to you and make a conversation. And I can't because I ended the friendship. I'm gonna seem a like a pussy and somehow I'll have lost all respect for myself. I've done so well without seeing you, and life was better. I just can't deal with the fact that all these people are okay with you. You hurt me and you don't even care. And as much as I don't want to say it, you obviously don't want to be friends anymore. If you wanted to be friends, you would've made the effort. And since I haven't heard one word out of you since I sent the letter, I can tell you don't want to make the effort. Your new friends (though I love them and they're some of the nicest people I've ever met) have turned you into a dick. You used to tell me that you tried and you tried, but you could never be a dick. Well look at you now, apparently you have reached your goal. You're an asshole who doesn't care about anything but looks and clothes and everyone who isn't me. I know that underneath all that bullshit I know you're still there and you have the same heart you ever did. Whatever it takes to find it, I know you can get there, but I can't help you with that. You need to realized that you hurt people, and that until you realize that and apologize I don't think I can be friends with you. As much as it hurts me to say it, I can't reclaim a friendship with you. I still miss you and I won't stop missing you. Our friendship reached down deep, and I loved you for that. I don't think I really loved you like someone you marry, but someone who cared about me and realized that I needed someone to help me along before I hurt myself in a bad way. You kept me away from all the bullshit in life and you knew that I didn't know where to stop. Since I haven't been around you, I've learned to take care of myself and that's a good thing. I'm not dependent on you, and thats good. But I just wish I could bring back what we once had and life didn't suck so bad without you.

Love,

Emily.

Listening to: Never Run Again-The Working Title